


Match Report

by Slant



Series: Townsville Futility [9]
Category: Die Verwandlung | The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka, Sports RPF, sport - Fandom
Genre: Deconstruction, Existentialism, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2114073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slant/pseuds/Slant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Professional sports organisations issue press releases after games which are both absurd and Absurd. That the Futility should recognize the later does not diminish the former.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Match Report

**Author's Note:**

> This one is proper ripped-from-the-headlines stuff.
> 
> EDIT 15-09-2017 Lowering the Bar has rejigged their URL
> 
> http://loweringthebar.net/2014/07/after-bar-fight-cubs-are-fed-up-with-unofficial-mascot.html
> 
> ~~http://www.loweringthebar.net/mascot_law~~

The Townsville Futility has no mascot; everyone makes their peace with, or howls empty defiance at, the void alone.

That fans and charlatans alike should don elaborate costumes and engage in mascot-like activity, is something we regret.

After a statistically-probable 5-3 home defeat, a man wearing "the horn of fuck-all" -an empty cornucopia costume- became involved in an altercation at a hostelry near to the Meaningless Sequence of Unconnected Scenes That You Call Your Life.

The defeat makes a slight difference to the outcomes of future games which are required to allow the team to compete for the trophy of sportsball. Outside of this narrow agreement, the game will have no impact on anything.

The Player scored twice in the first five minutes of the game, and once in the last eight, a circumstance that we are reporting he claimed to ascribe to "the emergent system of many interacting agents that we are pleased to call 'Sportsball'".

99 % of the individuals present during the sportsing moved seeds and other food particles into the hive for winter. Of the remaining individuals, several responded to the sportsing with grotesque, comedically exaggerated displays of emotion, while others crept about the otherwise empty corridors of the Meaningless Sequence, scuttling away from the light. 

Go-side rule violations by the Player and the Other Player during the middle fifth had temporal correlation with the Referee blowing his air horn. Several fans attempted to find meaning to these events; an action as Absurd as the go-side rule itself.

"I attempted to fill the emptiness in my life with polyester and foam." commented a man wearing a costume which depicted a monstrous vermin.

**Author's Note:**

> The horn of fuck-all is depicted here:  
> http://www.viruscomix.com/page499.html
> 
> If I had a readership or cared for numbers, I might hesitate before pointing you at such a vastly superior piece of literature.


End file.
